reviewed by Richard McQuillin

Do you suffer from "wealthism"?

"It is one of the driving myths of American life: that money will guarantee happiness, bring us personal fulfillment, strengthen our relationships, give us smarter, better-adjusted children -- in short, make all our dreams come true."

I'm fortunate enough to live and work in a charming little city by the sea. We have a temperate climate, beach volleyball tournaments, casual living. Shorts are welcome attire at most restaurants. So, as you might suspect, this place is awash in multi-millionaires, and has its share of wealthy celebrities (being more or less a "suburb" of Hollywood) and mega-paid sports stars. Isn't it a great life? Everything you could hope for? It sure looks that way!

"Image is almost everything in affluent society. There, behind the carefully constructed facades of material success, family order, personal power, and control, one often finds little in the way of ideas or behaviors that are not compromised by a preoccupation with externals and the pursuit of ego-gratification."

The Golden Ghetto isn't written for most of us; those who think of ourselves as being middle class, or maybe even mildly affluent. It's a self-help book for the very affluent; unique since the author is herself from a very wealthy family, and is a therapist to the very affluent. But there are a few lessons the rest of us can learn from it. Most of these have to do with what I call the "linear fallacy"...

We often believe that if "some" if something is good, more must be better, and more and more must be better yet. For example, consider the dictum that "you can never be too rich or too thin." Are you kidding? Do we need more proof than the corrupt tragedies at Enron, WorldCom, and Tyco, for example? This is not news. It's just the latest evidence in a pattern that has occurred since the beginning of recorded history. But, we seem doomed to always forget the ancient wisdom of the oracle at Delphi: "Nothing in excess". Instead, we'd rather gorge ourselves on accumulating and spending money, conspicuous consumption, and cutting corners in our relationships and our lives.

"As a culture, we have been on a mindless, selfish binge to see how much money we can individually accumulate. Material wealth became the earmark of success, the way we kept score; but one day when we weren't paying attention, we became addicted to it. If this much feels good, we told ourselves, then more would feel better."

Perhaps the main point, if you're struggling to amass wealth and possessions, is this: Relax! You may not really want what you're striving for. Here I'll just suggest a few strategies and tactics for healing affluenza that may work for you.

A Strategy for Healing Middle-Class Affluenza

If you're in the middle class, striving to be wealthy, to provide a good life for yourself and your children, this is the best strategy: get to know some wealthy people, and their children. After all, if you want to be rich, these people will soon be your friends, so why not start seeking out these friends now? And I mean you must really get to know them personally.

Think you already know what you need to know about the rich? Not likely, unless you already have wealthy friends that are open with you. You simply cannot rely on what you see, hear, or read in any media. With very few exceptions, the media perpetuate our myths; frankly, because we want them to. You cannot rely on casual or surface relationships with the wealthy. They are compulsive about controlling their image. In many ways, it's a profession. "Thou shalt look good, at all costs". And, sorry, but don't rely on what I'm telling you here. That's why I won't mention a single one of the comedies, tragedies, or horror stories I've experienced in my friendships and dealings with the wealthy. I probably have an "ax to grind", and you need to see and hear it with your own eyes and ears.

The first step is to identify one or more wealthy individuals or families that you would like to get to know, for whatever honest reason you have. In my community this is easy, because they're everywhere. For you it may be more difficult, but do what you can. Of course, what we're saying here is that a main reason is to improve your own understanding of and attitudes towards the wealthy, which is reason enough. But some common interests will initiate the bond.

When you identify them, your next issue may be that you're intimidated. There are many ways to bolster your courage. Consider reading Jessie's book, for example. The surprising point is that, when you begin to understand the problems of wealth, you'll instantly be more confident about yourself. When you tally up your own positive aspects, you'll probably find several reasons why someone who's wealthy can benefit from your friendship as well.

Once you really get to know the wealthy, you'll learn a lot about your own wealthism. If you've been motivated by money and power, you may find that other options are attractive. This may take years. But after all, if you're striving to be rich, it's probably going to take you years to do it. When you're done, you may make some good friends. But what you will find will also make you laugh, shudder, and count your blessings, and probably lead you to a more rewarding life.

Tactics for Healing Middle-Class Affluenza

You don't need MakeLifeEasy to heal Affluenza, but it can help. Here are a few specific things you can do:

• Try to reduce the time you spend in stores, and when you're in stores, try to shop scientifically. This is what we're working towards at MakeLifeEasy: to help you avoid advertising messages and buying behavior that are bad for your financial health, which can lead to poor mental and physical health as well.
  
  
• Enter your main assets, including an estimated lifetime for each. That is, try to define how long will they last, or, more important, how long will they benefit you by being useful, fulfilling, interesting, fun, etc. Then run your Cost Per Day Curve and follow the instructions to understand what you see. Also keep in mind the hidden costs: Possessions take time and money to acquire, insure, protect, maintain, store, and even to dispose of.
  
  
• Consider selling off assets that stick out on the cost per day curve. Then, what do you do with the cash and your freedom? Buy more stuff? You could, or you could consider banking the cash and/or using it for flexibility: Flexibility to do the job you want, or to work if and when you want to and not to work when you don't want to. And keep in mind some final words from Jessie:
  
  
  • The average working woman plays with her children forty minutes a week -- and shops six hours."
    
    
  • Beyond the necessities of survival, I have not had a client nor heard of anyone whose emotional problems stemmed from the deprivation of material possessions as a child."

More Points

• Jessie's web site is at http://www.affluenza.com. This is for the very wealthy who want help.
  
  
• The web site at http://www.pbs.org/kcts/affluenza/ is also a good resource for the rest of us.